Thursday, December 06, 2018



Memories are made in my heart as i think through 10 years ago. It starts before then, growing up in a single mum family made me think i did not need a man , but my mum never painted a negative image of men and am so thankful to God about that. As a teenager i always thought it would be cool to have a great job 1 kid and drive a nice car and that was  it. Thankfully i met the Lord and then i became too radical and thought there was no brother who would like to marry a Jesus die hard girl. And i was ok with staying single yeahh ,,,
Well i am glad that God thought differently and gifted me with marriage.

Both me and Robert  were commissioned by Focus k and Focus U respectively as missionaries to Norway and that is where we met. On first glimpse i saw a preacher who was very biblical but kind and loving. i had never met a caring loving and kind man like him. We became very good friends to a level that i didn't notice when he was interested in a further relationship.

Soon or later Him and I were sure we wanted to trust God and see if we can go into marriage.
We allowed each other to get to know as much as we could . Very aware that we were from different cultures was real and kept saying to each other  only time will tell.....
 After going back to our countries we kept on communicating in what is called a long distance relationship .. Let me spare details .. But am so blessed to be one married to man who is secure in God and pushes me to be my best in every way. I needed this now i know.

He is still kind caring and loving as i met him.. soo thankful to God. 

On 6/12/2008 we got married and i immediately moved to Uganda after resigning from my well paying job why???
Because I thought it was easier to get a job again but if i lost my marriage at that early age i wouldn't get it again. 
 My marriage matters to God and to me and so i was willing to choose it over any other thing sure that God would bless me as i obeyed.

This meant a lot for me and my marriage. I was going to start a whole new life, new city new people new husband,, new house new banks, new everything ,, Uganda is not the same as Kenya.. as many i went through baptism by fire but now when i look back i appreciate that move it was so led by God.

I am so glad i obeyed God and came to Uganda He indeed had a bigger plan for me that husband and babies.

Always count your costs as you make decisions on this areas. They affect generations.

Now  i have learnt many things so many

1. Marriage does not solve your life issues Jesus does.. It actually exaggerates the life issues but you must know where to look to. 

2. There is no small or big thing  to be discussed. Talk through issues all the time...

3. If your husband is a good friend its safer....friendships lasts... 

4. God comes first husband second .. 

5. The enemy that fights marriage is real , i have always prayed for my marriage and for my husband ,, persistently and fervently. This is the way to win ..on your knees. 

6. Never compare your spouse with anyone every way. 


 8. Children are a gift from God ,,they are arrows and as a parent you have a big role , to disciple them and prepare them to fly..

 9. Be each other cheer leaders no matter what ,,

10. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.



Thursday, October 18, 2018

Its “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations” yes that’s the mandate. We are followers of Jesus and just like we follow him we help others follow him.. Are you part of this as a believer? Are you making disciples of all nations?
a) Go therefore ... does anybody stay nooo we all go . ITS THE WHOLE CHURCH TAKING THE WHOLE GOSPEL TO THE WHOLE WORLD. You might be asking how do i go?
  1. The practice of literally going across cultures as a missionary ,God is still calling people with great or small professions, old and young, married couples or single people to cross cultures and make disciples.
2. The practice of welcoming : The nations we are talking about are living next door. They are here. How intentional are you to get to them in their houses next door .. in our nation right here in Uganda we have millions of refugees that have been brought to us through war. How can you be part of this?
its welcoming the missionaries in your home listening to their stories and refreshing them, its providing member care to them as they stay front line ,its visiting the field and praying with them.
3. The practice of sending; Giving financially to those who go. writing cheques and doing standing orders , its sending food and other resources that are needed. I write in Bold Money doesn't save souls its more than throwing cash ,its creating a rich relationship with the missionary and the mission field.
4. The practice of Praying : We advance the gospel amidst opposing powers and their is need for people that intercede for the efforts that are put in mobilization and even implementing the strategies. Our strategies can only be only effective if birthed in prayer.
5. The practice of mobilization: working to cast vision for the whole world in such a way that other believers can see Gods story and find ways to be part of. its networking and rallying people to take their positions . creatively finding ways of reaching all Gods people to tag in as we face the task remaining.
b) Make disciples - any follower of Jesus should be making disciples, its people in need of change helping people in need of change. Its the ability to draw attention of people to Jesus who transforms them.
c) Of all nations- this are not political entities or countries but “a people” There are many nations which are not reached even within politically divided nations like Uganda.
We still have many Un reached people groups, and so we must GO .
For many Christians the apostolic passion has died in our hearts , Instead of dreaming of the whole world covered with the glory of God, We have other dreams.
  1. The passion has died when we rarely spend time with the Lord of the harvest . If you hang around Him , He will give you a new assignment.
  2. The passion has died when we keep going to church and sing about heaven but live as if earth is our home and get attached to the things around here.
  3. The passion dies when we dream more about visas,plots,cars.etc instead of dreaming of nations worshiping God.
  4. The passion dies when we keep planning to go and be involved but our hearts are willing to stay and do nothing.


Thursday, September 20, 2018


Its 9 years ago when after being married for 1 year i learnt that i was pregnant, perfect timing indeed and me and Robert celebrated that i was pregnant off course before the journey began of morning sickness and so forth and as soon as i was eight weeks we were talking with my husband how i need to travel to my homeland Kenya from Uganda for this reasons1. The tummy is not visible so it will be easier than when its all huge. 2. since when the baby comes i wont be able to easily travel this is the best time to travel. 3. I need to go and share the good news with mummy.yap So i set off for Nairobi on road and i slept all the way through and after arriving in Nairobi i took another three hours trip to my village Karurumo. I arrived home and 😍my mum was so excited to meet me and then i told her i was 8 weeks pregnant, my mum exclaimed  Whaaaat... not in excitement or supposedly mixed feelings... Nb/My mum is a retired nurse/midwife. I then rested and asked if i could go check on my best childhood friend in the neighborhood , after which i experienced something strange, I had blood flow  in clots through my legs and on my pants. I run home and entered the shower and told my mum in the passing that i am bleeding. She got into panic because she knew what that meant. She immediately called a special taxi and asked me to enter we go to hospital, i was shocked because i was not feeling any pain and so i thought i was safe. As we drove to the hospital the driver asked who among us was sick since i was not feeling anything and my mum was silent. We reached the hospital and that was when i knew i was in danger, On reception i was carried on a stretcher and then to the doctor who helped me understand why my mum was so scared and not excited with the news that i was pregnant. He called it threatened abortion...The procedures were gross but the worst was that i was admitted and supposed to be on bed rest for 14 days, on the 10 th day they were supposed to do a scan and see if i needed to be flashed if the baby didn't survive . That was the first time i got so connected with my baby because i spend days praying for him, and hoping that he was alive i wept and was soo sad. I have also never felt as ignorant as i did that time why.. Friends that i called quarreled me wondering how i didn't know that it was so dangerous for me to take such a trip during the first trimester . They asked if in this digital era i had not checked on google and learnt that. who when excited googles dangers ,,,, of pregnancy?? Not me. They wondered how come i had never heard that its soo risky. Those sentiments made me so sad and really wondered how come i had never heard of that risk. my mother , my marriage matron , the church women all never mentioned that to me. At the same time i had so many ladies tell me how they have heard such expereinces and they lost their babies . Experiences from the friends varied from  " I went for an overnight and danced the whole night and i had a threatened abortion""I went hiking with my colleagues and i lost my baby"" I traveled upcountry and on arrival was blood" Etc.  This rainbow babies you never get to hear about them because there is no burial and usually its between very close friends . I agree some of them are not avoidable but i also think that lots of them if helped can be avoided. I recently met a friend who was 8 weeks pregnant and  on knowing she was pregnant had lined up all her work upcountry trips for the first trimester. Thank God i met her. so who is supposed to tell this girl who is excited about getting married and about getting pregnant? Maybe the older women indeed have to teach the younger ones ,, is that happening ? Because you might be too excited to google the dangers of first trimester let me put some here for you Girl.... Can you commit to share your stories with a younger girl... lets be a blessing and  not share with them when they have experienced it.  
The first trimester, or three months, of pregnancy, can present many risks to the developing fetus. Because organs, facial features, skeletal tissue and limbs are developing at this time, any negative affect on the fetus can result in serious birth defects. While most risks to the pregnancy can’t be changed, because they’re caused by genetic abnormalities or implantation problems, some risks to early pregnancy can be modified by lifestyle changes. I am so glad that after the 10 days the scan showed that the baby was there ,, ohh my i wept and was so excited that the baby was there. I off course  had  to take it very slow and rest a lot including having to travel after few weeks on flight and after then arrive in Uganda and rest rest rest.. 

This is the baby who survived..HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROY...

thanks for reading

Gillian  Edube 

Wednesday, August 15, 2018


It begins here "Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”Math 28;19. 
I can only make disciples if i am a disciple myself. How do i become a disciple? A disciple in the New Testament is simply a Christian. Acts 11:26. The day i decided to follow Jesus i became a disciple. 
As disciples, we are called to imitate Jesus’ love (Jn. 13:34), his mission (Mt. 4:19), his humility (Phil. 2:5), his service (Jn. 13:14), his suffering (1 Pt. 2:21) and his obedience to the Father (1 Jn. 2:3-6). Since he is our teacher, we are to learn from him and strive in the power of the Holy Spirit to become like him (Lk. 6:40). This growth in Christ-likeness is a lifelong endeavor that is fueled by the hopeful expectation that one day we will see him face to face (1 Jn. 3:2-3).
Having been justified by his death at the cross my sin was forgiven, i continually overcome sin (sanctification) And will be Glorified when he comes back. While i am being sanctified i am on a journey of growth in my becoming like Christ. 
I also have a responsibility to help others become like Christ. As we follow our Lord, we quickly learn that part of imitation is replication. Having a personal relationship with Jesus is magnificent, but it is incomplete if it ends with us. Part of being his follower is to intentionally help others learn from him and become more like him. As a friend of mine says, “If you aren’t helping other people follow Jesus, I don’t know what you mean when you say you’re following Jesus.” To be his follower is to help others follow him.

As disciples, we are to intentionally pour into other disciples so they can pour into still others (2 Tim. 2:1-2).
When we study the life of Jesus, we see that he formally taught his disciples (Mt. 5-7; Mk. 10:1) while also allowing them to observe his obedience to God as they lived life together (Jn 4:27; Lk. 22:39-56).
In the same way, some of our discipleship relationships should be structured while others will be spontaneous.

How intentional can we get? I Just discovered i do most of my replication spontaneously. 
Jesus is the one we focus on as we “make disciples” (vv. 19–20). He is the object and center in discipleship; disciples are to become his “apprentices” and “live life” as he would live.
Every moment presents an opportunity to discuss who God is and what he’s doing. Since we are always following Jesus, we always have the opportunity to help others follow him as well.
As we follow Christ and help others follow him, we’re constantly made aware that we need grace. We fail. We sin. We struggle. 
But thankfully, God’s grace abounds to his children. This is good news as we seek to follow Jesus together and daily be transformed into his glorious image (2 Cor. 3:18). May we faithfully follow Christ and help others to do the same until we see his face. Come soon, Lo
Bible describes our hearts as the inner being . Luke 6:43-45 Each tree is known by its fruits.
We are walking with people so that they can mature in their faith and produce fruit.
Fruit change is the result of root change
Lasting change in people hearts must travel through the pathway of our hearts Its not enough to alter behavior or to change circumstances.
Change that ignores the heart will seldom transform the life, for a while , it may seem like the real thing but it will prove temporary and cosmetic. 

Since the central character of the great story or renovations is Christ a central theme will be grace. We must point people to God who enables them to do what they have never done or stop what they are doing.
Jesus laid down his life for us how do we lay our live for others.
When we forget the call to incarnate the love of Christ we take our relationships as our own. 
Soon they are governed by our pleasure, comfort and ease. FEELS LIKE GILLIAN . 
I think of Saul conversion, God speaks to Saul and says i am sending Ananias and He speaks to Ananias who knows who Paul had been and this would be hard for me but look at what happens God says Paul is my chosen instrument . Ananias obeys and goes and see he arrives and believing God in his ability to change people call him Brother Saul... 
Christ incarnates and comes to us and calls us brothers and sisters. Heb 2:10
We are doing life together not that we are gurus.
God sends people our way to change us and change them. I am not what people need. I connect them to a living active redeeming Christ. Your life only being an example.
People can therefore rely on Christ than us.We are not idealized models .They end up worshiping God. 
Prayer is indeed effective in the process of change. 
Col 3:12 Paul is calling us to a state of biblical readiness for the ministry opportunities he will bring us as he changes us through the ministry of others.
If you are going to teach and admonish each other you ,we must put on Christ. God changes people as we speak the truth with compassion kindness humility patience and love. 
when we do this we become the evidence of the truths we present . 

 We are not incarnating truth but Christ himself. 

Friendship IS the First step towards this process. people can only share their lives with you if they know they can trust you............

Tuesday, July 24, 2018


While on a field trip to Kenya the above question kept ringing when I visited our missionaries serving in different parts of the country. I found myself in a bus that was full of “strangers” and I felt my life was at risk especially because I was travelling at night. How strange? When it was prayer time they all got out of the bus and said their evening prayers on the road side. Worst still when you have two Army men to escort our bus. A lot of things went through my mind.   I don’t remember when I last felt as insecure and yes I had to trust God through the journey.
On arrival in the morning I was welcomed by several missionaries and servants of God.
This month i feature Loyce Naula. An Orthopedics clinical officer serving as missionary in Marsabit Kenya. 
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Loyce found herself between two unreached people groups Rendiles and Boranas.
 The trip to Marsabit was in itself exciting and scaring.  
My highlight was when we entered into a discussion and i told them how i felt scared on my trip.  and they were informing me how safe it is getting there now.
And casually a pastor shares a story “oh its now safe few years ago it was very bad, see my head this is a bullet I suffered for preaching the gospel Thank God it’s healed, I have another gunshot on my leg I am still on medication he lifts the hip joint in not so much pain. Its costly being a Christian and one must be willing to pay huge cost”. He continues narrating how recently while on a one on one witnessing someone showed up with a swarm of bees in a container and threw on him and he was hospitalized for some days.

Those are the people Loyce our missionary works with and this has influenced her worldview completely. I had gone to provide member care and just check on her and as we shared I found myself journaling and yes I thought I would share those reflections. The city which they live in is a Muslim dominated and few kilometers from them are two unreached people groups. 

Loyce starts informally to share “Auntie Gill as she calls me, I love this place and the people here, because interacting with especially the two people unreached people groups is great, why? They don’t believe in anything so you introduce Christ on a clean plate. Well I love working among the Muslims here and given a chance I can spend 10 years here.  However risky it sounds I love it. She continues, Auntie Gill I have learnt the peace of God, one day we woke up and there were gunshots allover and we heard that there was an attack on Christians and they had finished killing people from the Catholic Church and we were next. I picked my pass port and my national ID, because I was sure I and other missioners in the diocese were going to be killed ,I thought it would have been wise to have identification so they don’t struggle identifying my body, inside me was lots of peace which i cant explain. 

Miraculously the bishop stood out and when they were about to enter he lifted his hand and asked them to dare and they ran for their lives. How we survived we all don’t know.
Loyce continues narrating how unsafe it is but she thinks someone must pay the cost, I was so impressed to see her thinking she is that person. The smile and easiness with which they shared these experiences shocked me a great deal at the same time strengthened me to keep mobilizing for global missions.

Thinking through Luke 14:25-35
To follow Jesus we must consider the cost and put him above everything else including our lives.
Three costs spelled out here .
1.     We must hate our families and ourselves.
2.    We must give up all our possessions.
3.    We must carry our own cross.

Even now I say Yes Lord. 

Monday, May 28, 2018


 Celebrating my family Today
 ,, our kids are so different from each other and even different from us. been desiring to create an environment where they can be what God wants them to be.
As they grow i desire that they can engage me and Dad in respectful dialogues where they have freedom to be different, Candid ,vulnerable and make mistakes yet love for them remains constant.

strong willed, bold,confident, very sufficient, independent yet persistent unique...sensitive organised... well thats what i see now..... 

what makes Roy unique? competent easy going sympathetic peaceful. avoids conflicts.... still curious sense of humour... and sincere.. 

 what makes Bernice Unique?

We are both different from these two lives ,,, 

 checking in which way i have expressed who they need to be becoming ,, for now trusting God with their lives.

 As for me ,, am here happy with who i am becoming in Christ.... truefaced..

Thursday, April 05, 2018



Lately been thinking through my greatest calling, Parenting and decided to ponder pretty much and yes i want to ponder right there. 
 Outside my house i am an excellent Director, public speaker,couch and a consultant in many things, inside my house when i assume my role as a mother and wife these roles have a way of making me feel horrible and bringing the worst out of me. well i guess this is where the rubber meets the road. 
I see little children born sinners, without being taught how to do bad they assumed the role very early. ideally i am supposed to respond to their disobedience, rebellion and immaturity. How?
That is where i need God to help me in, i easily react not respond to them. 
how do i separate their behavior from their hearts? I love their hearts but not their behavior, oh that i would learn separating the bad behavior and deal with this heart that i love. 
Simply i need a box to see the behavior and throw it in there for correction or punishment then continue dealing with the child...

Perfect picture of GOD and ME. He sees me in light of Christ atonement and forgiveness, through the filter of Grace and Mercy.  He disciplines me for my behavior but doesn't define me by my sin. 
Separating my kids sinful behavior from who they are provides an opportunity to love them as God loves them. It allows me to love them for who they are not what they do, it enables me to discipline them from a place of love not hurt, and bitterness and retaliation.  
I dont have to proof my love for God , i also dont have to imagine he is closer to me by some act of goodness or distant because of my inconsistent behavior.  i dont have to strive on sinning less to be acceptable. Because i sin i dont withdraw from God, as self punishment,or that he withdraws from,  until i get serious enough to do something about my sin. He died for my sin . Nothing i do changes who i am before God. 
What does my sin do to the promise of God that he will never leave me nor forsake me? 
When i believe that that there is something i can do to affect my position with God i have lost it. 
 Jesus at the cross is the solution to my sin. its here the power of sins shame is broken , its this shame that always try to convince us that we must start over again. Getting right with him again,, We were made right with God. No matter how many strategies i lay and hate sin by myself i can do nothing about it. Because of of his grace my relationship is not at risk, i may feel sad and withdrawn from him in my struggle with sin but he is with me.  
This makes me walk in the light as i trust Christ finished work, My relationship is not defined my my sin or my righteousness but by his love. yes not that our sin doesn't hurt us or that we are immune from the consequences or effects of sin instead it gives me a way of seeing myself when i sin and protects me from continuing to sin. 
bringing into light that which i hide and trusting God to deal with it. 

Then how do i relate with my kids using this model? How do i set an atmosphere of Grace in my house. 

I sometimes see myself struggling between two ways .the Legalistic where i set rules standards and laws mostly motivated by my lack of acceptance of salvation as a gift not a debt that needs to be paid back. This then creates an atmosphere that dictates behavior modification and sin management to earn favor. 
Or even sometimes license where there is negligence of rules and law motivated by my acceptance of salvation as progress to holiness. this creates an environment that ignores the implication that God s commands have on their behavior. 

Creating an environment that kids know their identity as loved members and children of God no matter what behavior they put up. 
That the one i can have a box throw in and deal with sin as it is ,,, but relate with this heart. In this environment rules, boundaries and standards exist, consequences for choices and behavior  are not ignored  but they feel sure that my love and grace for them will remain steady. 

Its allowing uncomfortable consequences to shape our kids character and teach them to live by Gods standards .

This sometimes means squashing their small bratty behaviors so they dont grow with them. 

I have led my two kids into a prayer inviting Jesus into their lives after a conviction as we interacted with Gods word and so i have two disciples in my house that i am responsible over. I want to be involved in their lives , i want to point them to Christ in dealing with life. I want them to have an identity in Christ and that the identity would be around Gods character and not me and my ways... i pause for now ,, Praying so help me God. 

 True face & Grace based discipline.. 




  A DECADE ..ENTERING 2 DIGITS.. Memories are made in my heart as i think through 10 years ago. It starts before then, growing up in a sin...