FIRST TIME MUM'S INVITED AND ALL TIE KNOTS INTENDS......

It’s almost 12 years now since me and my husband(Rob) got married. 1 year after we were married, we learned that we were expecting a baby. Perfect timing indeed for me to travel and visit my family in Kenya, me and Rob agreed. Why? First, we were convinced that my tummy was small enough so it will be easier than later in the year. second, since after delivery I would not travel, we figured out this was the best time. Third, I needed to share the pleasant news with Mum. 

 So I set off for Nairobi on a bus and I slept all the way through and after arriving in Nairobi I took another three hour trip to my village Karurumo. I arrived home and 😍my mum was so excited to meet me. 

I broke the splendid news to her, my mum was excited but I could tell she was not ok. After some hours of catching up, I went to see my friend in the neighborhood. Something strange happened; clots of blood were flowing and my pants(trouser)  became all wet. 

I run home and entered the shower and told my mum in the passing that I am bleeding.  She exclaimed what! I knew it; she said. Nb/My mum is a retired nurse/midwife. She got into a panic because she knew what that was, she called a special taxi and rushed me to the hospital. I wasn’t feeling any pain my mum looked sick, and I looked healthy.
I only got to know everything was not ok when we reached the hospital,  On reception, I was carried on a stretcher and then to the doctor who helped me understand why my mum was shaken and not excited with the news that I was pregnant and had traveled. He called it threatened abortion. 
My mum gave me so many stories during her work as a midwife and family members that had died during the threatened abortion. I was admitted and given bed rest for 10 straight days. 
The procedures were gross; the waiting was tough since I wasn’t allowed to get out of my bed at all. on the 7th  day, they were supposed to do a scan and see if I needed to be flashed in case the baby didn’t survive. Those days were the first Mother moments I had, I prayed for my baby and kept hoping that they were there. Both I and my husband were sad that we made such a decision.

  Friends that I called quarreled me wondering how I didn’t know that it was so dangerous for me to take such a trip during the first trimester. They asked if in this digital era I had not checked on google and learned that. who when excited googles dangers of,,,, of pregnancy?? Not me. I was only doing baby center that kept me updated on the growth of my baby.

  Those sentiments made me so sad and wondered how come I had never heard of the risk at 1st trimester. my mother, my wedding matron, and even the church women that did one of my bridal showers all never mentioned that to me. How was I supposed to know? At the same time, I had so many ladies tell me how they have heard such experiences and they lost their babies.

 Experiences from the friends varied from  “I went for an overnight and danced the whole night and I had a threatened abortion” or “I went hiking with my colleagues and I lost my baby” or traveled upcountry and on arrival was so sick and bled my baby out” etc. Some of the rainbow babies you never get to hear about because there is no burial and is between very close friends and sometimes, husband, wife, and doctor are a result of this. 

  I agree most of them are not avoidable, but I also think some of them can be avoided. I met a friend 8 weeks pregnant and on knowing she was pregnant had lined up all her work upcountry trips for the first trimester. Thank God I met her. so who is supposed to tell these girls excited about getting married some motherhood tips? All you are helped to know is about Sex but not the consequences that follow and what to do. Is this part of what Titus thought ought to be taught to the younger women? maybe not.

 This article is for those who might not google or find an older woman or nurse who might warn them. The first-trimester pregnancy Because you might be too excited to google the dangers of the first trimester, let me put some here for you Girl.“Once you get pregnant the question that keeps on worrying you is If it is safe to travel during pregnancy? You cannot stay homebound for nine entire months till your baby is born. While regular travel like commuting to work or occasional visits to the shopping malls is not discouraged, planning a long-distance trip should be done with some caution. Your doctor might advise you not to plan a long-distance trip by air or road during your first trimester or the first three months of your pregnancy. There is a valid reason for the same. The risk of a miscarriage or spontaneous abortion during the first three months is high.”(The health site.com)
“Even if you are fit and fine during your pregnancy and don’t have any of the above-mentioned health problems, it is still better than you avoid traveling during the first trimester. Some practical reasons that keep you from traveling during the first trimester are:

• Aggravation of morning sickness, nausea, and vomiting, during road trips as it can make the mother fatigued and tired, which can influence the baby. Here are six ways to use ginger to counter morning sickness.

• The frequency of urination increases during pregnancy and if you are on a road trip and have to use the public urinals, this could increase the chances of getting a UTI.

• The general stress of traveling interminable distance during the first trimester can take a toll on both the mother and baby.

• There is a high chance of getting infections from environmental pollutants and toxins which can harm the baby whose vital organs are just forming during the first trimester.

• Since the immunity of the mother is suppressed during this time (and throughout pregnancy) there are high chances of contracting a contagious disease like measles, mumps, rubella, or chickenpox which are fatal and can cause severe developmental abnormalities in the fetus.( Inputs are taken from the book Garbhasanskar by Dr Vikram Shah and Dr Geetanjali Shah)

 The first trimester, or three months, of pregnancy, can present many risks to the developing fetus. Because organs, facial features, skeletal tissue, and limbs are developing at this time, any negative effect the fetus can result in serious birth defects. While most risks to the pregnancy can’t be changed, because they’re caused by genetic abnormalities or implantation problems, some risks to early pregnancy can be modified by lifestyle changes. (The health site.com)
To you who is a mum, mentor and matron take time to talk to the girls you walk with about post-sex stories. pregnancy, giving birth, birth control. etc. Share your stories and let people not repeat similar mistakes. To you young mum I know people can’t see you are pregnant but please consider your lifestyle during the first trimester, think before choosing to go hiking, the rough bike rides, all-night dance to the Lord, long-distance travels. 

 The good news was that my baby survived. oh my, I wept and was so excited that the baby was there. Of course, I had to take it very slow and rest a lot including having to travel after a few weeks stopping over to reach Nairobi and later on took a flight arrived in Uganda and rested.  

I learned the one time lesson that I can share, just in case.